GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
