what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
