so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
