I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
