In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
