you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
