I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
