I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
