Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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