Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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