this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i think i have two assholes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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