Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
