That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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