Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
