Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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