# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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