We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
