What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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