you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
