They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
