HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
