return my video game
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
