NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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