I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
