Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize