why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
