I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
