It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
