I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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