I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
