bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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