i think my tv is drunk
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
