how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
