Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
