i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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