His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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