i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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