So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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