My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
