Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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