How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
