Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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