The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
