Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize