If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
