if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize