Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize