I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
