Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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