Can i not drive my cunt home
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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