ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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