Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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