So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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