She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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