would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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